In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
