i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
