Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
