Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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