i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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