The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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