Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
