her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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