Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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