Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
