we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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