hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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