he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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