just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
