tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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