I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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