is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
