How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
