im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
