So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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