if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
