stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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