im drinking this country out of the recession.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
