I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
