oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
