dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
