Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
