I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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