No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
