The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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