things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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