I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
