i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
