And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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