we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
either way he was missing a nipple.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
