i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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