fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
