I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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