I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
