You're so nebulous sometimes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
