we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
