How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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