He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
