hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
