on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
