You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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