Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
