You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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