I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
