Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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