The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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