Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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